For 96 years, Colorado Ski Condo Crap has supplied the antlers, the plaid, and the taxidermy that turns a $2.3 million mountain investment property into somebody's uncle's basement.
Shop the Collection →Every log cabin from Telluride to Steamboat is furnished from the same forty-item catalog, and we intend to keep it that way. Colorado Ski Condo Crap has been the exclusive, unofficial, entirely fictional supplier of tacky mountain décor since before Vail Resorts bought your mountain, your neighbor's mountain, and the mountain next to that one. We don't design trends. We photocopy them.
Ethically sourced ambiguity on all taxidermy.
You're the one who decided to buy a home in the mountains. You'll get it when you get it.
If it doesn't have antlers, it's not decor. It's furniture.
A curated tour of the seven essentials every second home in Colorado is contractually required to display.
Handcrafted from antlers we are contractually forbidden from tracing to a specific animal.
No couch is complete until it can no longer be sat on.
For the family that needed a towel to remember which state they bought a house in.
Maintaining unbroken eye contact with every guest for the rest of eternity.
Framed beside a hand-painted "EXPERTS ONLY" sign, both proudly out of date — the map hasn't been redrawn since three lifts ago, but the mountain still looks extremely impressive.
Unused since the Coolidge administration. Never looked more at rest.
St. Moritz on one side, Chamonix on the other — two mountains nobody in this house has ever set foot on, framed with the confidence of a family crest. The furthest anyone's traveled for this view is the hallway.
I bought a condo in Breckenridge and, within six weeks, it looked exactly like everyone else's condo in Breckenridge. Exactly. Same lamp.
— Gary T., Owner of a Second Home He Visits Twice a Year
My real estate agent said the moose head would "help it show better." She was right. It sold in four days. The moose did not go with the house. We do not know where the moose is now.
— Denise R., Listing Agent
I have never skied. My snowshoes have never touched snow. Both are currently mounted on my wall at a tasteful 22-degree angle.
— Todd M., Second-Home Owner and Amateur Angle Enthusiast
Real is a strong word. So is "wood."
One per fireplace, minimum. We do not recommend exceeding three without a permit.
Yes. We did that. We did that to your neighbor's condo too. We did that to your neighbor's neighbor.
We ship anywhere Vail Resorts owns. Yours isn't on the list yet? Just wait. They'll get to it.
Join the thousands of homeowners who couldn't think of anything else, either.
Shop the Collection → (Still not a real collection.)